There are different ways to break up with your girlfriend, but they will all cause pain and grief. But you can take steps to reduce the anguish.
Tell Her Face to Face
Whatever the reason for the breakup, you’ve got to tell her in person. Don’t send her an email saying “It’s over between us.” She has invested as much in the relationship as you did, so show her some respect.
Think carefully of what you have to say. Write down your thoughts if that helps. Rehearse if necessary. Choose your words carefully. You don’t want to crush her feelings, but you can’t run around in circles. Ask her to meet you some place private. Tell her the relationship is over, and why.
Avoid the Blame Game
One of the worst ways to break up with your girlfriend is to rattle off her faults like a list. If you do this, she’ll point out your shortcomings and it’ll degenerate into a shouting match. That’s not how you should break up.
But do accept the fact she’ll be upset. Tell her something like “I didn’t want this to happen, but it would be unfair to you if this relationship were to go on.”
Those aren’t just words of comfort; they’re facts. If you carry on this relationship but are in love with someone else, you’d be very unhappy. Worse you might end up cheating on her. You don’t have to say this; the statement earlier will help her understand.
Things You Mustn’t Do
When thinking of ways to break up with your girlfriend, there are certain actions to avoid. Don’t say something like “I hope we can still be friends after this.” That’s something for her to decide. Don’t call and invite her to an outing. Give her time to reflect and think about the situation.
It’s also not a good idea to hang around with her friends for a while. Whatever the reason for the breakup, you’re unlikely to get sympathy from them. If your ex shows signs that she still wants to be friends, then slowly get back into her circle of friends.
No Kiss and Tell
Never, ever tell anyone the details of your breakup to other people. One of the best ways to break up with your girlfriend is to just keep quiet about it. Over time your ex will appreciate this gesture.
If you tell someone, word will spread quickly. It won’t be long before the stories get embellished. The last thing you need is for your ex to hear exaggerated stories and gossip. Even if your ex says this or that, you should still keep quiet. If you want to be friends with her again, maintain your silence.
If she shows of wanting to continue the friendship, accept this gracefully. If you have a girlfriend, don’t say anything about it. Don’t bring up any sensitive issues or old quarrels. Try to stick with non-confrontational issues.
There are no easy ways to break up with your girlfriend. But these suggestions should help mitigate the pain.